Exciting night

Ok, it is just after 11 pm and I was laying on the couch watching tv when I felt the "flutter" again tonight...It felt exactly like the one about two weeks ago too...So now I am almost sure that it was the baby moving. It was awesome! I am still having a hard time believing that I am pregnant. I am hoping that seeing the baby in a couple of weeks will make it more real. I am still not showing yet, which I guess is a good thing...less time I have to wear maternity clothes. The wedding over the weekend turned out really well. So for as frustrated as I was, it was all worth it..the bride and groom are happy and thats all that counts. Our next doc appt is a week from tomorrow and then we get to schedule our big ultrasound! I am thinking that I am going to get my ring shortly...I am hoping that I get it on the 13th, we are going to a hockey game that night, and I think it would be neat to get it that night, but we will see..no need to get my hopes up...Anyway..I think I am off to bed...

Ugh....

Ok...I am starting to get a bit frustrated, and Ive realized that even if my best friend is getting married I will ask not to be the maid of honor and possibiliy not even in the wedding. I am not sure what has caused more of a damper on mine and Jamie's friendship, me being pregnant or me being a "crappy" maid of honor. Jamie and I had a little tiff through e-mail a few weeks ago, she felt that I was being a crappy maid of honor because I have stood her up for picking out flowers and her veil and as well the invitations. Well, Jamie has never really made me feel apart of these decisions anyway, she hadnt ever given me more than a few hours notice when she was going to do these things...She doesnt agree with me. I think she forgets that I work nights and she works days. There is a big difference in schedules there. I can not just get up and go do as Jamie pleases anymore. And again tomorrow is no different. I called the lady who is going to alter my dress today, and asked her when I could drop my dress off and I was under the impression that Jamie and I were going on thursday for her final dress fitting...well come to find out the appointment is acutally tuesday at 4:30 pm, but I wouldnt have known that had of not called about my dress. As of now, she still hasnt called to tell me. I am working tonight, and I have to work tomorrow as well. We'll see what time she calls tomorrow or if she just assumes that I know. I know that she has a lot on her mind, this being the week of her wedding, but I as the maid of honor you would think that I would be included in her plans....thats probably too much to ask. Maybe I need to step down as the maid of honor...its not that my heart isnt in it, I truly believe that maybe Jamie doesnt want me to be her maid of honor. The whold other issue of this is that the cost of this wedding is out of control. I spent a fortune on my dress. Jeff's tux is $175 just to rent the damn thing for the night.

As far as the pregnancy, all is going well...15 weeks and counting..I think I felt the baby move last night..but I am not sure...at any rate..I am back to work.....

Update....

Well, it is now the 16th of October. We have officially heard the heartbeat of our baby. Heartbeat was strong at 162. OB says that all is well. We are still waiting to hear from the realtor about the offer we made on a house in La Vista. So hopefully we should hear something by tomorrow afternoon at the latest. It still does not feel real that Jeff and I are going to have a baby. I still dont feel pregnant, so its hard to really believe that there is a growing life inside of me. Maybe once I start to show, it should feel different. I am thinking about possibily telling my brother tomorrow that he is going to be an uncle. I think that he will be very happy, or atleast I hope he will. My sister however, well I am not sure how she is going to react. I hope that she is happy, I also hope that she is not angry with me for not telling her till now. I wanted to make sure that everything was ok until I spilled the beans to everyone. I guess the next step is telling the rest of the extended family. I am not sure how they are going to react. Night for now. More later.

Strange Day

Well, today was sort of an odd day. I had an early start, well....for me an early start at 9 am to head to Target to get a bridal shower present. Then I came home and wrapped the present for my friend. The shower was from 2-4:30. Then I headed back home to grab scrubs, since it was time to go back to work after a long group of days off. Jeff was at his mom's house, so I figured that I would go over there to see him since I hadn't seen him all day. I get there at about 5:30, Jeff was down stairs on the computer, so I holler for him. 10 min go by, 20 min go by, and finally at 6 pm he decides to come upstairs...Well by then I was mad, I had to leave for work at 6:15. I was irriated because had I of known that he was going to spend the time on the computer I would have stayed at home and slept. So I get to work and have since started a busy evening, which isnt bad, just busy. So I get a break around 8:30 and decide that I would check my hotmail e-mail when low and behold an ex boyfriend that I hadnt talked to in 2 yrs decides to send me an e-mail asking what was going on in my life...STRANGE! I am not sure what that is all about, and I am not even sure where to go from here about that. Ahh...anyway, time to give meds, gotta run.

Long overdue update

Well, here we are in the midst of September and a ton has happened since I last posted. Lets start with the biggest news of all....I am pregnant, due April 17th,2006. As of today I am 10 weeks. This has seemed to cause a little bit of an uproar in my life, Jeff and I are still together and doing great. Now planning a wedding for Oct 06. I am currently living at my parents house to get some major credit card bills paid off. This was planned even before I found out I was pregnant. So hopefully, before this baby is born, I will basicly be debt free other than my car and student loans. My mom is speaking to me, however, my father has said a few words, but not many. I am still working nights, and enjoying it. Jamie's wedding is only about 40 days away and that has caused a little bit of a disturbance between her and I, as well as me being pregnant. This has hit our friendship a little harder than I expected, but we are doing ok. I am feeling ok for the most part, tired all the time, sick off and on. Had an uneventful first appt. Just the typcial pap smear and blood work. Next appt in 4 weeks. Will update later!

Overdue Update

Ok, I know that its been forever since I have updated, and Im not sure that many people read this anyway. I started an update yesterday, but the blogger ate it. So, life here is ok. There isnt a lot going on. Jeff and I have set a tentative wedding date of April 29th,2006, but we'll see if that actually stays that way. I know that Jeff loves me, but sometimes I wonder if he plans on marrying me. I dont know why I feel that way, I guess maybe because I know that I really want to marry him, and Id just like to get on with the show. Id love to get married and have kids and start to settle down, but Im not sure if hes ready or willing to give that up yet. He has made progress I'll give him that, but its like one step forwards, then two steps back. As far as work, well its ok, finally getting all of my hours, but we'll see how long that lasts. I am going to talk to Midlands tomorrow about working in the ER. I need some IV exp and none of my friends or family are willing let me get that practice. Other than that things are good. Helping Jamie get ready for her wedding, wow is that stressful and Im not the one getting married...Ugh! Anyway, Im a little annoyed with an acquaintance of mine, I recently found that this person had some not so nice things to say about me, but then proceeded to put them on the internet for all the world to see. This person said some hurtful things, but Im not really sure what to do about it...I should probably just let it go, and cut ties with this person and Im sure that others in my life would like me to do the same as well. So I think I just answered my own question, i will be cutting ties with this person shortly. Thats about it for now, Ive got to try and get some sleep since Ive got to be up early to meet with Jamie and head to the gym, but since I slept for 15 hrs...Im not sure how tired I really am.....night.

A new Day

Well, since its almost time for bed, I figure Id share my thoughts. Well yesterday was an ok day. I worked 12 hrs. I enjoyed the day at work. We had an older patient for once who had the old school nintendo and mario to go along with it. Wow how that brings back memories, so the nurses and I decided to switch off playing with him. I exhausted once I got home though. Jeff and I had a decent dinner..although my goal of not eating out didnt exactly get maintained. We ended up at Wendys. Blah. During the week when I am working days, its almost always a crappy day when I get off and Jeff has to go to work. I usually only seem for about an hour before he leaves to go to work....So then I end up coming home to my cats and falling fast asleep. Typically on the couch...I know that I have a full size bed, but its lonely sleeping there by myself...and its currently covered with clothes and odd items. Its what I get for cleaning out my closet...I thought Id get some where by being able to see the floor..funny how its mostly still on the floor just not in closet. I am really getting annoyed with myself, I really really want to be able to keep something/some place clean...but I cant for the life of me keep up with the laundry or the cleaning...what the hell is wrong with me...I wasnt raised in a hell hole, explain to me why I seem to think that I need to live in one. Many of you that know me, the running joke is how messy is my place..and it has been since I left home...humm....so from now on..Im going to clean up after myself. Tomorrow Im going to get the rest of my place clean...even if that takes all day!

Random Thoughts

Ok, well....its just after 2pm on Sunday. Ive managed to a little accomplished today, although not as much as I would have liked. This week has been rough. I switched back to days from working nights for a month, and it just taken a tole on my body. Im tired, I dont ever sleep when I am susposed to sleeping and all I want to do is sleep when I am required to be awake. I love my job, but since our census is so low, I might be forced to find another one to fill in some days. The other thing about my job is being the low person on the list, I get stuck with crappy schedules. When I interviewed for this position, I thought I made it clear that I wanted straight nightsinstead of a day/night rotation. Nights are hard enough to get used to, when just doing them straight...let alone when one month you are on nights and the next month you go days. Well this week, I went from nights to days...and my sleep schedule is messed up. This week I also started a new birth control pill and it didnt work either, made me so sick that I couldnt function and that was just after three days. So I called..and what do you know...they switch me to another one, but I have to wait for another cycle...Ugh..its just frustrating...so what do you know...my period shows up yesterday...just over a week from the last one....More later